i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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