I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize