so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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