But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
