I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
