did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
