dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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