his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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