he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
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He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
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His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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