I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
