a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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