i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
