he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
