I hate all girls vehemently.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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