Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
