WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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