i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
