You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
pop tarts are not kleenex
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
