There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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