Taylor Swift is so right about you.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
NoShamevember. You game?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I didn't notice because vodka
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
