I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize