That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My Sexting was not on an AP level
FUCK WHALES
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
