so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Randomize
