She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
