She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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