why didn't you poke me back
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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