you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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