he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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