GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
