I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
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She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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