do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
