I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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