Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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