i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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