we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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