You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
