Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
