Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
this will be a night to untag.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
