I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
