I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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