I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
