He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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