okay pat passed out under dana's car
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm at about main and main street
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
