I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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