Having a random hookup so left but love u
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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