Say something about gay babies.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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