he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
