if you like me you must not know who I am
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
