I love black thongs
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
