D3 body, D1 cock
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
