I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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