He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
