there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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