I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
