the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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