Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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