Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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