I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
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